Anything For MY Child

I was reading some comments yesterday concerning the last two episodes of LOST (putting off studying for a final quiz 😉 and was amazed to see how many parents said they would do “anything” for their children…including murdering innocent people!! That’s scary! While I would certainly defend and protect my children, it’s sick to think of murdering some innocent bystander. Think this through logically…if it’s OK to kill an innocent person for the sake of my child, then what is wrong with someone else killing MY innocent child, for the sake of THEIR child?

I suspect this is one effect of our increasingly child-centered society. Somewhere children became the focus (the be-all) of family and community life…instead of being just a PART of family and community life. I was impressed by a series in the “Baby Blues” comic strip last week. Each day had two panels labeled “Then” and “Now”. For example, one day had a “Then” picture of a father handing his son a bat and ball and saying, “Go out and play ball, son.” “Now” had a picture of parents telling their son they had signed him up for T-Ball, as well as private coaching lessons.

Another day, “Then” had a picture of a Mom patching up her child, who had fallen out of a tree, and saying, “I guess you won’t try that again!” “Now” had a picture of a Mom calling her lawyer in order to sue the landowner and her Senator to push for legislation making trees safer.

I suspect this change in parental focus has occurred for multiple reasons, things such as increased disposable income, loss of a sense of “neighborhood”, increased dangers in just sending your child out to play without your direct supervision, a desire to live your life through your children, guilt because of the decreasing amount of time working parents can spend with their children, competition for a child’s affections between divorced parents, peer pressure/competition to “keep up with the Joneses”, a buy-in to the psychological hoopla about “you can be anything you want to be” (not true…I may want to be a concert pianist or an astrophysicist, but I don’t have the ability or intelligence for either. One of the best lines from “Pride and Prejudice”: Lady Catherine says, “If I had played the piano, I would have been a great proficient.” 😉 … Any other ideas?

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14 comments on “Anything For MY Child

  1. J.R. Freiberg says:

    Wow,

    Lost references and Pride and Predjudice. I dont know if I can handle much more!

  2. Beth'sMomToo says:

    Hey…I’m multi-cultural! 😉

  3. T-Bone says:

    often times parent’s want what is ‘best’ for their children without ever thinking about what the kid may want or need. And it usually looks like someone doing as much as they can without really changing who they are or putting themselves out. They will normally only do that which is comfortable to them. For example, people are much quicker to pay someone to either fix their kid or entertain them, rather than doing it with them or for them.

    Another thing is a pride issue with parents and their children. they are usually more afraid of their children’s failure than their kids are. Half the time the kid may not realize he failed only because he doesn’t have the same standards. Failure is seen as a reflection of their parents.

  4. Beth'sMomToo says:

    “often times parent’s want what is ‘best’ for their children without ever thinking about what the kid may want or need”

    you’re not referring to those piano lessons, are you? You “could have been a great proficient.” 😉

    Seriously, good comment. Oh, btw, I’m almost done with the Mohler sermon. Great stuff!! We’ve both been thinking about some of these same things. I’d like to hear anything else you might have of his.

  5. Beth says:

    I just think it comes down to failing to aim to be godly. I know I’m not a mom quite yet, but I have an inkling that I will have to go against my “natural maternal insticts” sometimes to do what really is best for my child. It seems that as christians we are well aware that our wisdom should not come from within and we shouldn’t base our actions on how we feel, but often I notice that “maternal instincts” are the exception with christians. It is ok to go with that insticnt and act on your emotions rather than doing what produce godliness in the child.

    I enjoyed reading Babywise- the focus of the book is how to train your baby to become a part of your family instead of the baby hijacking your family and family revolving around them. Sometimes this means allowing the baby to cry for a few minutes in certain situations- I know that will probably be against my prolactin-saturated brain, but in the end it is best for the baby to learn to self-soothe and learn some patience.

    “Attachment parenting” is becoming increasingly popular where the baby sleeps in the bed with the parents- trumping the husband wife relationship, and every cry is responded to by shoving the breast in it’s mouth (often resulting in a colicy baby).

    I think parenting should be a discipling relationship where you are training your children to have a heart of obedience and servanthood. I see parents with kids in public places and marvel at what shock it will be to the kid when they start living and working in the real world and things do not revolve around them.

  6. T-Bone says:

    again, I don’t have children, but I do have a wife and if its one thing I know is that my relationship with my wife is to be more important than a relationship with any of my kids. I will not be ‘one flesh’ with my children. I am not called to give myself up for my kids like Christ gave himself up for the church. That’s the call I have for my wife. Now part of that is loving your children and doing what you can to do what’s best for them, but like Beth said, too many parents let their relationships go in favor of their relationship with their kids. The kids become the most important thing and the relationship between the parents falters because they don’t work at it like they need to.

  7. Jen says:

    Beth, be careful what you read! Babywise is a good book, BUT it has a lot of down falls too! Your baby may not be able to soothe himself or sleep for 8 hours a night from the beginning. That is one thing that they need to learn and you can’t “train” it into a child. co-sleeping…ugh! now that is out of the question! Yes, there were MANY nights that I would bring the baby into bed with me so that I could get some shut eye while he/she could nurse. BUT I did it out of necessity for the whole family, not for the benifit of the baby. I have heard about, read and seen too many books out there that tell you how you should raise your baby, and every baby is different! I have 6 I know these things. They may have different metabolisms or different sleep patterns. You can’t go by the book and think it will be all the way they said that it will be! TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!! Don’t get me wrong! I think that you should read up on things, but just be careful not to take too much of the info as if it were golden. Most of the books were written by men. You know the ones who leave in the morning, and come back at dinner time, and assume that the day was perfect because his wife did what he told him to do, he wasn’t there for the long hours of screaming, and tourture that the mom went through!
    Your motherly instincts will kick in and you will see things differently I bet.

    As for anything for MY child. there are times when it is so hard to see your kids learn a lesson and letting them go through things on their own to learn them, it is brutal! but…we need to do it. Would I give up 4 people who I have had my life depending on for saftey, food, ect just to get my child back. tough call, but if I knew that my child was safe and I had the opportunity to save 4 other lives. I wouldn’t give them up! But, after all that is only TV! And in the perfect world I would like to think that I would act in the perfet way, and hopefully I would never have to see how my true colors would shine in a situation like that! I can only pray that God would have me do what He wants and not what I as a mother would do! again…we are talking TV here!

    Was that a soap box! WHO ME? 🙂

  8. Beth says:

    Well, we will see how it goes, I also will be away all day at work so I don’t know how well I can coordinate with the babysitter. I know four friends who are christian moms my age- 2 in WV, 2 from my church who do and love babywise.

    I think more important to each baby being different is each mother and situation is different. I think babywise fits well with my personality and my friends who do it and love it. I admit I’m a schedule/routine/organization freak. One of my friends who does babywise works and one has twins- so it was necessary to get the babys on a schedule. For example, I can’t imagine “free souls” like my Aunt who is an artist doing babywise- it totally isn’t her personality- but her daughter has grown up to be a wonderful woman.

    If I am going to be able to make a living, work 40 hrs a week to support my baby (I know how crazy it is be at home all day with the kids- I just can’t catch any naps like I could if I had one baby that was keeping me up all night), maintain my health, I can’t afford to be up all night for the first year. I hope I can use the tools in the book to train him to sleep through the night fairly early.

  9. Beth'sMomToo says:

    Jen,
    The thing is I WASN’T talking about TV! That was what was so amazing to me! I was talking about real attitudes of real parents, as they had expressed themselves on the Internet. The TV show spawned the subject, but these people were SERIOUS and actually defended any objections others made against their attitude! At first I thought it was just an aberrant idea, that there was a parent out there who had gone too far. But as I read on I came across another person who felt the same way, and then more and more. That is what floored me!

    I’m reminded of the “cheerleader Mom” who planned to have her daughter’s rival murdered. Or the Mom who had someone murder a boy who had broken a relationship with her daughter! It seemed to me that people who carry the attitude that they would “do anything” for their child, to the point of murdering an innocent person, are just the kind of people who may find themselves doing such horrendous things. Once you start down that road, where do you stop?

  10. T-Bone says:

    just heard that Britney Spears is no longer observing Kabbalah. She says her religion is now ‘her child’. thought that goes along with all of this. Shows what her religion means to her. She’s dropped her child, driven with it on her lap, and almost dropped the child in front of all the cameras. She then said, ‘that’s why I need to carry a gun.’ she be crazy.

  11. Jen says:

    Brittney and a gun! watch out…she is s-o-o-o-o out there. The question is does she know how to use a gun? I certainly hope not! that could be a little frightful!

  12. Jen says:

    now, what about last night??? any new post on LOST??? lets go people…

  13. Beth'sMomToo says:

    Actually, according to the magazine I read at the hairdressers…it wasn’t Britanny who dropped the child while taking it out of the highchair, it was the nanny. (so they claimed, anyway)But, glad you mentioned it. Your child as your religion, huh? Guess we know the husband won’t probably last much longer. And what kind of burden is that on the child? What happens when the child grows up and becomes independent (if the parent allows it!)? Do you change “religions” again?

    Sorry, Jen…I was in Boston yesterday at the MFA…yes, without you. BUT…not with anyone else either. (Does that make you feel better? 😉 I was studying up on early Ancient Near Eastern art, since I’m going to be teaching through Genesis again. Great stuff!!

  14. Beth'sMomToo says:

    Stuff I read online:

    4 x 8 x 15 x 16 x 23 x 42 = 7,418,880 That was on the anomaly the two guys in the Arctic/Antarctic received!

    Charlie was acting weird at the end. Did the electromagnetic burst “change” him? Why was everyone so mellow? Why weren’t they frightened/discussing the occurence?

    Libby just “happens” to bump into Desmond and give him a boat over coffee? Is she working for Penny’s Dad?

    Widmore Labs was written on the balloon that the real Henry was buried under.

    Locke and Eko are NOT dead – I’m 99.9999 percent sure of it.

    Libby is/was a *o******** **a*
    That’s from the Ausiello Report. What is he giving us a clue to? Fill in the blanks – two words. Nothing is coming to me, but I’ll think about it. (C’mon, Ian, you’re GOOD at this. What does it say?)

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