Needless to say, the last few days have been unlike any other in my life. I guess that’s what your first child can do. On Sunday evening we came back home and it immediately felt completely natural to have Micah there. I got to take a much anticipated shower, washing ‘hospital’ off of me, and we just relaxed until Grammy B. and Uncle David arrived!
I have to say I don’t know how I would do this if Grammy B was not here. She has been absolutely amazing, helping keep the place clean, doing some cooking, and most importantly, helping Leah learn to take care of Micah. One of the biggest ways she has been a blessing to me is that I don’t have to worry about staying up with Leah and night when Micah is screaming and not wanting to eat. That is absolutely crucial with me finishing school and trying to juggle work.
Leah is doing well. She is less soar than she was a couple days ago, but is still finding it difficult to maneuver. She’s finding it difficult to find sleep, but is adjusting to sleeping between feedings. She was able to get three hours last night, as well as a good nap between 8-9pm. You could pray that the healing continues and that she finds time to sleep.
One thing that we haven’t had a lot of time for is time to just sit and talk. Last night we got a few minutes to sit down and talk and she asked, “Does he fit in?” After thinking about it for a moment, I responded by saying “no.” A new dog fits in. You find room for a Bible study or going to a movie. A baby, I’ve realized, doesn’t fit in. He changes your life.
Before, it was just Leah and I. We could basically do whatever we wanted and when we wanted. If we wanted to do something last minute or on the spur of the moment, we could. But we weren’t really a family. We were two young people that got married and liked hanging out with each other. But now we’re a family. He doesn’t ‘fit in’ because that life is behind us.
This could sound like a very dark and sad reality, but it really isn’t. After all, which would I rather do: go bowling at the last minute or hold my son in my arms? A child changes your life in a good way. he doesn’t fit in, but you change things to make him a part of your life.
In a way, this is almost like our relationship with God. When we come to salvation, we’re not the same. Its still us, but our desires should change. Our desire shouldn’t be to live like we used to and go back to our old lives. It could sound like you are enslaved to a new life, but really, its the freedom to live life in a better way.