Does He Fit In?

Needless to say, the last few days have been unlike any other in my life. I guess that’s what your first child can do. On Sunday evening we came back home and it immediately felt completely natural to have Micah there. I got to take a much anticipated shower, washing ‘hospital’ off of me, and we just relaxed until Grammy B. and Uncle David arrived!

I have to say I don’t know how I would do this if Grammy B was not here. She has been absolutely amazing, helping keep the place clean, doing some cooking, and most importantly, helping Leah learn to take care of Micah. One of the biggest ways she has been a blessing to me is that I don’t have to worry about staying up with Leah and night when Micah is screaming and not wanting to eat. That is absolutely crucial with me finishing school and trying to juggle work.

Leah is doing well. She is less soar than she was a couple days ago, but is still finding it difficult to maneuver. She’s finding it difficult to find sleep, but is adjusting to sleeping between feedings. She was able to get three hours last night, as well as a good nap between 8-9pm. You could pray that the healing continues and that she finds time to sleep.

One thing that we haven’t had a lot of time for is time to just sit and talk. Last night we got a few minutes to sit down and talk and she asked, “Does he fit in?” After thinking about it for a moment, I responded by saying “no.” A new dog fits in. You find room for a Bible study or going to a movie. A baby, I’ve realized, doesn’t fit in. He changes your life.

Before, it was just Leah and I. We could basically do whatever we wanted and when we wanted. If we wanted to do something last minute or on the spur of the moment, we could. But we weren’t really a family. We were two young people that got married and liked hanging out with each other. But now we’re a family. He doesn’t ‘fit in’ because that life is behind us.

This could sound like a very dark and sad reality, but it really isn’t. After all, which would I rather do: go bowling at the last minute or hold my son in my arms? A child changes your life in a good way. he doesn’t fit in, but you change things to make him a part of your life.

In a way, this is almost like our relationship with God. When we come to salvation, we’re not the same. Its still us, but our desires should change. Our desire shouldn’t be to live like we used to and go back to our old lives. It could sound like you are enslaved to a new life, but really, its the freedom to live life in a better way.

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4 comments on “Does He Fit In?

  1. BethsMomToo says:

    You’ll be surprised how quickly you will get a routine established. Once Micah gets used to his new world, time for sleeping will return. I’m sure Beth is amazed at how much time has already passed with Niam and how much more able she feels today than she did when she first got home from the hospital.

    One advantage Leah has is her experience with babies. I had absolutely NO experience with babies and was presented with this pink, chubby-cheeked little baby who I was now responsible for. That was scary for me! At least Leah knows more about baby care than I did. [Hey…I faithfully bathed you guys daily and made sure you wore T-shirts & now I find out all that wasn’t really important! ] I’m sure much of what they are now telling you is vital, will be out of style in 20 years! Keep perspective. What will NEVER go out of style is God’s command to love Him with all our heart, soul and strength and to diligently teach our children about Him. And I KNOW you two will do that!

    Your life may have changed, but that doesn’t mean that this next stage isn’t as good – it just means it’s different. There is so much joy ahead of you! Just wait until he wants to play with you [“Play me, Dad?”] and to tell you all about his day. I have many fond memories. And you’re still giving me new ones!

  2. ehudadams says:

    despite all of Leah’s experience with babies, she still feels totally inept and unprepared. Sort of like when a girl who loves cooking gets married and then panicks and thinks she doesn’t know how to cook. but its all natural and she’ll figure out she knows more than she thinks.

  3. beth says:

    You are in the hardest phase right now. Leah’s body is killing her going through a major event, she’s getting no sleep, she’s learning to nurse, he’s learning to nurse, you’re probably thinking that hopefully you won’t kill him. Leah’s learning to go through her day in 3 hr chunks of time- time flies, yet drags. The first week I remember how drinking coffee and eating breakfast were tough to fit in, I didn’t shower every day. I aimed to get dressed and put my contacts in before lunch, then as soon as I was ready for the day I went back to bed for a nap. People would call or come over, and the visit was nice, but it was hard to get him dressed and me dressed for visits and that was my entire day! The first week I probably didn’t get more than 4 of sleep at night because he woke up 3 times and it took so long to nurse. The second week I was getting 5 or 6 hrs- he only woke up twice. I’ll be praying you can sleep deeply when you have the opportunity. Eventually he started to sleep at least one 4 hr chunk and that was so great!

    This isn’t the rest of your life- this is just your life for the next few weeks!

    Pretty soon he will be an ace at nursing and you’ll get the whole thing done including diaper change in 20 minutes… and you can read a book while you nurse! He’ll start waking up at the same time every night and it will be easier on your body to wake up at that time. Your body learns.

    I remember the first morning I was able to get up first, make coffee, before he started screaming to be fed… that was heavenly!!!!

    You will be able to do lots of stuff by the time he’s 6 to 8 weeks- it just takes more planning. After that things get a little easier every month.

    Until it gets easier don’t worry about being hermits for the next few weeks- it’s a temporary time, and be sure to enjoy your little bundle. Nap with him, take baths with him, sit around and do nothing with him, eat lots of food, watch daytime TV, wear your PJ’s all day, why shower every day? This is baby time, you’ll fit him into your lives later!

    One of the things that is so much better after baby is shopping. I love shopping with nehemiah to the point that I make a point not to do it without him- mainly grocery shopping and Walmart. At first it was daunting, but as he got older and things got easier and I love it. I brought him to Kohl’s for the first time a couple of weeks ago and he loves the shopping carts, and smiled and babbled to people who would stop to talk to him, when I tried clothes on I parked him in front of the mirror and he just laughed and laughed at himself.

    I also love to come home after work. I drive home thinking about him and how much I love him. It’s like a new romance, but you don’t get sick of it and it doesn’t wear off- you just keep on loving him more and more as his personality comes out.

    I love to wake up in the morning so I can see him. Sometimes while he sleeps I tiptoe in to peek at him because I miss him now that he sleeps for so long.

    Things about babies is that you talk to more people, you get a different group of friends, people with kids just like to hang out with other people with kids. People enjoy your baby with you. I like hanging out at church with Nehemiah.

    I love when we are driving and he will start “talking” in the back seat. I can’t see him, but I love to hear his little voice. I can also hear him let out sighs šŸ™‚

    I love that work is second priority now.

    I love Fridays because instead of thinking- what can I do that I want to do – I think- I can spend my whole weekend with my baby- even if it means we are just puttering around the house catching up on cleaning and chores.

    I love my baby because it makes me realize all the junk I filled my life with because I didn’t have kids to raise šŸ™‚ I don’t feel like I’m “missing” anything, just that before baby I was “missing” baby.

  4. BethsMomToo says:

    I remember what a sad day it was when you started kindergarten and we no longer grocery shopped together. šŸ˜¦ You had a way with people, as does Niam, and I suspect as will Micah. Except for a few “embarrassing” moments [which, if your friends offer me something worthwhile…like maybe a good book tip…I’d be willing to share…;)], it was the “highlight” of my week. It may have taken me longer, but it was a much more “social” time than it is now. [I just hope Niam and Micah are better about clothes and shoe shopping than the male child I raised was!]

    To this day I notice Moms with a little boy in the cart and I find a lump in my heart and I end up telling them about “my” little boy.

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